Volume III. No. 16
 11-20-04
 Desperately Rediculous
 { Big Black Buck Terrell Owen's Encounter
   With A Not Quite So Naked White Woman }
 author: Vance Cureton
 © Copyright 2004
 

 There may be one saving grace to George W. Bush's re-election. America 
 is now officially a Red State/Blue State country. Despite the seriousness
 of a culturally divided land there may come moments when the perceptual 
 differences between the two America's lead to controversies that can be 
 only described as both pitiful and painfully humorous.

 "Are you ready for some football!"

 We can thank ABC's Monday Night Football for the latest conflagration.
 In an attempt to promote their hit new television drama "Desperate Housewives"
 ABC broadcast an opening skit with one of the show's stars that included 
 an ominously empty locker room and a handsome African-American football 
 star opposite her. And last but not least, add to the mix the final crucial
 element - the television audience's very fertile imaginations.

 In other words, the comedy skit was basically about an over-sexed Big Black
 Buck who hooks-up with a horny white woman. The late Jimmy the Greek 
 Snyder would have just loved it. Heh. Heh.

 "What in the world were they thinking!"

 Ahem... It was subtly brilliant, actually. And the instant controversy that 
 swept the nation was all but predictable. The defining moment of the 
 skit - if you will - was when the blonde Nicolette Sheridan dropped her towel 
 { suggesting total nudity } and eagerly leapt into the arms of the all too 
 willing Terrell Owens. Heretofore known as the Big Black Buck. In an instant 
 they were off to have some delectable and quite inappropriate interracial 
 sex. -- Forget about the damn football game.

 "Oh my..."

 This rediculous and very tacky comedy skit serves as a Rorschach test 
 for the Blue States and the Red States. From the Right there were immediate 
 cries of foul and claims of more cultural filth invading their homes due to
 the Blue State morality that has too much influence in the entertainment
 arena.

 The reactions on the Left were generally more muted. But, one of the most 
 respected African-American football coaches stated with a weary-eyed 
 dignity. "I think it's stereotypical [ the notion of black men lusting 
 after attractive white women ] in looking at the players, and on the 
 heels of the Kobe Bryant incident I think it's very insensitive."

 FCC Chairman Michael Powell, a new hero of Red America stated,"I 
 wonder if Walt Disney would be proud." 

 Probably not Michael. But, then again if Walt had lived long enough to 
 see the Wonderful World of Talk Radio and 24/7 Cable Television that 
 was coming down the pike. He might actually would have wanted to earn 
 an extra buck { no pun intended } or two off of controversies such as 
 this one.

 It seems that America has all but lost her sense of humor. Sometimes when
 we should just laugh and move on. We cannot. Perhaps Janet Jackson's 
 ill-timed Super Bowl stunt is to blame for that. And of course the Right-Wing 
 media wonks who need something - ANYTHING - to rail against, all have 
 sex on the brain. Sex. Sex. Sex.

 Oh sure, the skit was certainly out of place. ABC made a huge mistake in 
 putting such a racy piece on at the nine o'clock hour. But, have you seen 
 what's going on in daytime soap operas these days? The language can at 
 times be rough { the b-word gets tossed around a lot } and there has even 
 been a bathtub scene or two. As for kissing scenes, well let's just say they
 are quite energetic. The Monday Night Football skit was tame in comparison 
 to what soap addicts see everyday.

 ABC released an apology. Yeah, like they're really sorry about all of  the 
 free publicity the controversy has generated for "Desperate Housewives."
 But the incident was cleary not to the level of Janet Jackson's wardrobe 
 malfucntion. There wasn't any real nudity in the skit. As for the suggestion 
 of a racial element, that is just throwing gasoline on fire.That the 
 producers of the skit would even attempt to do the scene with an interracial 
 couple and risk causing a controversy on that basis alone, demonstrates that 
 at least in some sections of the country, America is not the race-obsessed 
 nation that it used to be. Maybe instead of shouting racism someone 
 should remind coach Dungy that Terrell Owens is simply a sought after
 property in the NFL right now. He was a logical choice for the locker room 
 stunt as he is perhaps the Philadelphia team's most bankable star.

 As for the lovely Ms. Sheridan, she was hardly behaving in a manner
 that was out of step with the character that she portrays on her hit show
 every Sunday night. She actually plays a highly-libibinous woman on
 "Desperate Housewives."

 "Helloooo..."

 Go ahead, look for racism if you must. If you search hard enough, you'll 
 find something, of course.

 Maybe even a sense of humor?

 So did America pass or fail this latest test? Whatever the answer, just 
 wouldn't it be a remarkable occurrence if this society ever became as 
 agitated over the number of murders that occur every year in this country, 
 as oppossed to the rabid reaction whenever a little T & A is shown on 
 broadcast television.

 What about the schools that are so lousy? Or that seniors can't afford 
 the health care they need, so that they could perhaps enjoy a few more
 productive years after retirement. The transportation infrascruture in 
 almost every state is in dire need of repair. In too many cities the buses 
 don't run on time and the subway systems are a hard-to-maintain  money 
 drain. 

 If that isn't enough to to bring you down, how about the millions of 
 undocumented aliens who have slipped across our borders and are 
 doing who know's what. How many of these faceless people are psychos, 
 perverts, and serial killers?

 What in the world is so important about a silly interracial skit featuring 
 a star football player and some exaggerated character from a television 
 series?

 C'mon America. It was parody. The skit wasn't meant to be taken seriously.
 

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